Photonica.

I feel completely lost in my own head and have done for a majority of the past few days. Today i just can't help but go over everything again and again.

I want to make something of myself, i want to learn, to discover new things and to improve myself as a person. I want to go to college everyday feeling good and just do the work, enjoy it & grow further. So why is it that i can't?

I make all these 'agreements' in my mind, where i say to myself 'okay sure, just you know, get on with everything' and then i ruin it the same way everytime i go back in college. I made the worst decision earlier when my parents decided to have another talk with me. It seems that they are just worried about everything i do or say recently and they kept saying that i needed to talk and open up. I told them i wasn't enjoying college at the moment. This led to a long discussion of everything i was doing wrong.

I want to sort myself out, but i feel like i shoudn't have to.

Besides this current conundrum, everything is awesome. Just to ensure you don't think of me as some depressing hate child.