Dead Cowboy.

Im moving through moods like i've never done before. Good then bad then good then bad then good then repeat. I don't know whats wrong with me recently. I think my efforts at hiding my emotions are failing and people will see the cracks.




I cant be bothered with anything. I hate this blog.

Driftwood.

I can't here. Or anywhere. Or anyone. Nowhere. Nobody.










Just in my mind. Locked away from the world, or is it locked away from me?

7.7

Past few hours i havn't been able to shake this weird feeling. Im not even sure what it is. It's like im worried about something thats keeping itself a secret at the back of my mind. I know what it is, but my mind wants it blocked out. I get this every so often, it never gets any less annoying than before.

My ribs really hurt for some reason too. Got this tight feeling around my lungs and i can't get comfortable. I hate moments like this.

Yesterday was good, minus the party that was fun but at the same time awful. Sometimes i struggle not to get annoyed by people, you know it's not their fault but that makes no difference at the time. I just appreciated the time with close friends. I dont think i express sometimes how much i love seeing certain people. It felt good.

Im pretty sure malls are the place to be during a zombie outbreak. This guys a fucking idiot though.

Ford.

So Blade Runner, Its pretty good. For an old film the vision of the future is amazing. The visuals portrayed in the film are somewhat in a strange way realistic. Im particuarly drawn to the neon light umbrellas which don't actually look farfetched at all. Im pretty sure i could make one.

BUT

When it comes to the films story and symbolism etc, all i can say is


WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHE FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK IS THIS ABOUT?!

N 84.

Ive been painting today. I should of been yesterday but as usual i had problems with putting a substantial amount of effort into anything. The only thing i can say ive worked hard had in the past two days in sitting on my sofa, and i sat on it (and in a rare case slept on it) the best i possibly could. Tonight i could actually see the painting making the room look better and fresher, so that gave me a bit of drive to complete it. Also because im tired of sleeping in various places of my house.

Its my brothers....19th? birthday this thursday. He's pretty boring. I think we might be having a big table of food or something, which is good. I like food a lot.

It's roughly 24 hours down now. I miss you a lot more than you know. I wish i'd shown you that before you left. I havn't stopped thinking about you, its hard to distract myself with anything other than you. I hope your having a good time. I love you and I miss you.