Convenience

Its 3:51. I had promised myself by now that i would of started most of my work...and had it done. Sundays never go as planned anyway though, and hey at least im starting to work now. I forgot about the Clock change too, so it didn't help when i realised i was actually a further hour behind on everything. Im just about to start up a media report. Its got to be between 1200-1600 words, so its going to be fun. Im pretty sure i know what to write though so thats alright.

Havn't done very much drawing past few days but i havn't been at home for some so i have an excuse, or ive been with someone. If i can get enough work done before it gets to late tonight il do a couple of bits and pieces, or even inbetween things if i can. Fuck my chubby un-skilled hands. I will teach them to draw, il literally fuck it into them if i have too. (Blatant excuse to wank).

Although i did sound very dissapointed in the last un-happy post about missing out on that job, i suppose for effect i forgot to mention that they did link me to another job posted because they wanted me to apply. So i have an interview set for.........the 15th of april (dots represent me walking off to find out when my interview was suckers). The jobs for the fresh foods section as well, so having experience in the fruit and veg shack should be helpful for once.

Ive still got things on my mind but i think i know what i need to do. I just really really really don't want to have to. I think i can justify my reasoning though. God im so fucking cryptic.

Hope you enjoyed my 'slightly longer than normal' post.

Subliminary.

I feel like im stuck in a really weird place. Im not sure what it is thats annoying me most at the moment, but i know that i wish i could just remove my problems. I hate the fact that im so harsh on myself for little things that probably wont be a big deal. I guess i just blow everything out of proportion...fuck my head around that little bit more. Im pretty weird with this sort of thing to be honest. I don't wont to talk about anything either, to anyone. Not because i dont trust anyone or anything like that, just because i dont feel like it.

Is this really all worth it?

Hurm.

I finally got the new sketchpaper moleskine. Can't wait to start filling this little guy up with shitty drawings.... aye? aye? aye?



oh, and i didn't get that job i was talking about wanting so badly. yeah, sucks right?

Sometimes

I fucking suck.



(whinewhinewhinewhine)






I want to beat the shit out of Optimus Prime right now, just so i can be all 'fucking yes, robot 0 - man 1'

I would apoligize afterwards obv.

Hand

I just got in from an interview at John Lewis, which il admit was pretty scary. I was feeling pretty confident right up until i was waiting outside, in which all the nerves hit me like the fucking moon. The actual interview went really well though, and now i just have to wait through the week long process of picking which applicant will get the job. It sounds like il have alot to do...much more pressure than the veg shop, where i can pretty much do absolutely nothing and still bring home the cash. Fingers crossed.

Happy Birthday adam, you sexy thing you.

The weather is nice. I like the weather mmm.

DRAWING IS GAY/

Fucking.

Im not really sure what im getting from college anymore. Its kind of worrying me that recently I havn't really got any idea of what im actually planning on doing with my A levels and the fact i dont feel like ive made the right decisions so far. I need to go and talk about all the choices i have after leaving college because im not so sure that uni is my best choice, or even just that its not my preferred choice. Shit sucks. Its not so much that i don't like college, i mean i really enjoy it at times and i can get pretty into it. But just like i see some people who are really submerged in their subjects and seem to get alot out of doing it. I don't have that. I just feel like im drifting through, not keeping up, looking bad, just generally not doing so well as of the current moment.

I want to actually act my age about it all though, but i feel like turning round and just saying 'Fuck this, everything is boring, i dont enjoy it and i dont know what to do' all sounds pretty immature. I mean i can hardly ask to be given more self-responsibility if i can't hold up work. urg.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

On a happier note, I am also feeling pretty good about most other things. I tried to pursuade my mum to run someone over earlier, i didn't like them. Plan did not work.

sexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexysexy

With love,

I feel ill. Im usually the last person to get ill, never really get colds or sick. Ive got something this time round though. My throat feels like its been run over by a truck and my head just feels big and furry. Im loaded up on various medicines though, so hopefully one of them will do something, either that or they will all combine and at least just numb me so i can't feel as much. Just hoping it dies out and doesn't get any worse, I can deal with what ive got right now.

Im currently shifting through my media coursework. I think if i just get into the right mindset and sit and get on, i could have this done to a good standard this week. I mean i just finished off a critical analysis of a front cover design for this magazine and, although ive probably missed out a few things, i think its alright especially considering we havn't touched on analysis work for awhile now. Il get my media teacher to check it for me, and i can touch it up after that if i need to. (I will need to). Ive got to look at the magazines website now, and analyse it. Take some 'screen dumps' of it. Work is fun.

I feel abit closer to people now. I want to spend more time with you. I wish certain things were easier.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckingfuck