Im not really sure what im getting from college anymore. Its kind of worrying me that recently I havn't really got any idea of what im actually planning on doing with my A levels and the fact i dont feel like ive made the right decisions so far. I need to go and talk about all the choices i have after leaving college because im not so sure that uni is my best choice, or even just that its not my preferred choice. Shit sucks. Its not so much that i don't like college, i mean i really enjoy it at times and i can get pretty into it. But just like i see some people who are really submerged in their subjects and seem to get alot out of doing it. I don't have that. I just feel like im drifting through, not keeping up, looking bad, just generally not doing so well as of the current moment.
I want to actually act my age about it all though, but i feel like turning round and just saying 'Fuck this, everything is boring, i dont enjoy it and i dont know what to do' all sounds pretty immature. I mean i can hardly ask to be given more self-responsibility if i can't hold up work. urg.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
On a happier note, I am also feeling pretty good about most other things. I tried to pursuade my mum to run someone over earlier, i didn't like them. Plan did not work.
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