Clarity.

Everything feels different again. I hate the fact that I seem to think that things change and re-shape around me pretty much all the time. I don't know what it is but I always get the sense that after something has happened, slowly stuff changes to fit in with the new. It's pretty shit really, constantly adapting for every little thing that alters.

Currently im trying to push forward with my work, im letting everything fall backwards and im just being generally too lazy and relaxed right now. I need to make sure i keep up. It all seems very boring, probably more so by anyone who notices it rather than myself. I kind of enjoy it really, sitting down and doing something, then feeling like ive made an effort with it is quite rewarding. I also quite enjoy the peace as well sometimes. I have three essays due. Two are due in at the end of this week, the other has a few weeks to go still. Luckily, they are all started up now, two days ago it was the opposite. I guess thinking of it as a chore wont help either, this'll sound geeky and sad no matter what way I say it but its always possible to make work and stuff seem fun. I've quite enjoyed the things ive done so far.

I dont fully know how I feel right now. It's a bit of a mixture really.

sorry if ive seemed short recently. I guess sometimes what I think through & keep inside is only reflected in what I do and say outside. I do need a break from stuff now and then though.