Established.

Forgive any horribly obvious grammatical mistakes in this post, and for anything odd i say. I have had the most full weekend of my life and im on my 40-something hour of no sleep for josh time. It has killed my brain. Plus theres the fact that the things in my head right now are so fucked.

I just came home from Blackpool, a place ive never been before. Its funny how moving slightly up a country, things just change, just all of it. People are very different up there and from what i saw most are also very old too. It was like the Isle of Wight if it wasn't an island. Anyway, i went up there for the funeral of my Aunt Alma Lord, shes not actually my auntie but my family have this weird thing of sticking with those family name tags. I didn't know her that well, just saw her on the family events and meet ups. Of course this didn't mean that i didn't feel sad, it just meant that my emotional attachment was slightly weaker and thus i didn't appear as affected. When i got there though i met her husband Phillip. Ive met him a few times but ive never actually sat and talked to him. The worst part for me was that id never realised that they had been married for 68 years. How do you recover from that? it gets me every single time. Spending that amount of time with someone, such a large part of your life, for them to just not be around? I give him so much respect for how he was handling everything, he was just carrying on with his life in the only way he could. When he cried in front of me was the first time i felt a real rush of sadness, and i know it will sound all pathetic to anyone reading this, but i really did. I kept thinking about my grandad. Right il end this depressing part short, before i and you get emotionally drained.

I don't feel like writing any more. Maybe tomorrow.